Quest for Blest Rest From Incest
A Note to the Bystander
Guilty Bystander Meaning
Incest Guilt by Association
Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Quest For Blest Rest From Incest study program. This is our Guilty Bystander Warning against Incest Guilt by Association. The truth within this absolutely awesome Guilty Bystander program will truly enhance and enLIGHTen your be-YOU-tiful and YOU-nique life.
There is a force out there that is attempting to overtake us all; it is Satan. There is another force that is protecting us from him; it is the Holy Spirit. It is a battle for souls. This battle is called Spiritual Warfare, and like it or not, you are right in the middle of it.
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A Note to the Guilty Bystander
Leaving the State of Confusion
Entering the State of Realization
Guilty Bystander Counseling
Incest Guilt by Association Lesson
Ever had someone confide in you that they were being abused? Maybe
they didn't use the word abuse, but you knew what they were trying to
tell you. Maybe they didn't come to you at all, but you suspect
something horrible is happening. Something just doesn't seem right
with them.
What's stopping you from helping them?
Abuse happens everyday. At Least four children die a day from abuse.
Statistics can show outrageous numbers of how many are abused, how
they are abused, who it was from, etc. But in reality, the statistics
only show ⅓ of it all. Too many times, people see it happening
and don't call. Too many times people suspect something, and they
don't ask. Too many times people see the evidence and the proof, but
turn away. There are even times that a victim has told people
(friends, teachers, etc) in hopes of finding help ... And the person
doesn't do anything. They sit back, might give them a hug or a
shoulder to cry on here and there ... But doesn't do anything to stop
it.
For those that know the deep dark secret of a child and refuse to do
anything:
How dare you know something is going on and look the other way. The
nerve to say "There is nothing I can do." There is a lot you can do.
Just by speaking up. By helping the victim get out of the abuse. By
helping that fearful child by being their voice.
Speak Up
You are now in fault and allowing the abuse to happen. You and the
abuser have become a team. Working together against the child by
keeping them in silence.
One of the most horrifying effects of child abuse is the tendency to
repeat itself. One of every 3 abused victims becomes an abuser. So by
allowing your fear or apathy to keep you silent, is allowing not just
one child to be abused and killed in their silent cries, but to allow
the abuse to possibly continue the another generation as well.
But you don't want to interfere in someone else's life? You don't
think you are involved in this? The moment you found out or suspected
the abuse, you became involved. There is no way around it. Just
because you close your eyes and ears and pretend it isn't happening,
doesn't make it go away. Often times, when we close our eyes or look
away, the situation has the potential to become worse.
You don't believe that speaking up and reporting the abuse will do
any good? Better safe than sorry. That one time you chose NOT to
call, usually results in some of the most severe cases. That child
will continued to be touched, raped, hurt, and shamed because you
didn't think you could help. Even if you suspect something, please
report it.
You don't want to report it because you don't want to break up that
family? Yeah, you're right. Leaving that family with a scared, raped,
self harming, soon to be (if not already) suicidal child is a lot
better than helping that family get the help they need. No. I just
pray the child stays alive long enough for everything to magically
disappear.
If you are a parent and you know your child is being molested, the
longer you wait, the closer they get to death. Children do not suffer
through abuse without the effects that it causes on the heart and
body. It will affect every aspect of their life. Knowing they can't
trust anyone and thinking every person is just like their abuser. How
dare you allow a child to live through life (if they chose not to
kill themselves) with those thoughts tucked away in their heart
because you decided not to help. You have become just one more person
they will never be able to trust. If you can live with yourself
knowing that you are risking the life of your child, then so be it.
You will reap what you sow. God promises that.
Guilty Bystander Warning
Incest Guilt by Association Danger
For those that know the secrets, have heard the silent screams, and
truly want to help: If you have someone tell you something that is
either abuse or suspected abuse, first stay calm. If they see you
freak out, then they won't know how to react and might withhold
information.
Believe Them
When they finally work up the courage to come to someone and tell
them, (no matter how much or little information they share), it will
absolutely destroy them if you doubt what they are sharing. In
response to your doubts, they might not decide to tell anyone else
and just suffer through the abuse until they decide to end their
life. Please don't let it get to that point.
Don't interrogate them or ask them leading questions. Just let them
talk. You might take notes after they leave while the information is
still fresh in your mind so you don't misquote anything they say when
you report the abuse to HELP them. Taking notes in front them in most
cases causes them to clam up and not want to speak. They wonder what
you may be writing or they get tense when they see their words on
paper. You want them to be able to speak as freely (and as much) as
possible. When you are short on words, let your actions speak. Listen
intently and be there for them. They need you and they trust you.
Reassure them they did nothing wrong. Let them know you are going to
help them and that whatever happens is to help the abuse stop. Let
them know you support and believe them.
Remember, being a shoulder to cry on or ear to listen to is not
enough for them. They may think that's all they need, but you know
better. They need to get out of the situation before it causes
lifetime effects on them. Whether you are promised to secrecy or not,
you know the way to keep them alive and safe is by reporting the
abuse. They are counting on you to help them. Do the right thing lest
you become the guilty bystander and are guilty by association.
Guilty Bystander Help
Incest Guilt By Association Prevention
1 John 3:17
But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need,
and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the
love of God in him?
Luke 10:27
And He answering said, Thou shalt love the
Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with
all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and
with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as
thyself.