INCEST SURVIVOR PROGRAM
SURVIVING INCEST COUNSELING
Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Quest For Blest Rest From Incest study program. This is our Incest Survivor study with free Surviving Incest counseling which will teach you how to survive incest. The truth within this Incest Survivor program will truly enhance and enLIGHTen your be-YOU-tiful and YOU-nique life.
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Click the link below to discover the healing path. |
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Click the link below if you would like to
read this study from the beginning. |
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LEAVING
STATE OF CONFUSION
ENTERING STATE OF REALIZATION |
INCEST SURVIVOR STUDY
SURVIVING INCEST HEALING
You made it !!! I hope you chose to wait and not continue on before it was
time. I know sometimes how eager and excited we can be to
just keep going, but we will absorb SO much more if we take
in a little bit each day.
Okie
Dokie then ...
Our
FUN-tastic healing
journey begins ...
Since you and I are so much closer than you know and
since we're going to be traveling together for a while, let's talk a
bit and expose some of the confusion and hurt within us and
allow the winds of truth and understanding to whisk our
problems right out the car windows.
What's been on
our mind lately?
Here are some questions that we may have echoing in our
mind from time to time:
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Question: What did I do
to deserve it?
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Response: What does a little innocent child
do to coerce another person, in particular
an adult and/or authority figure, to
sexually abuse them?
Answer ... Absolutely nothing. They are a
child. They do NOT know any better. Only what they were
TAUGHT. If they were taught wrong, how can they know
that the act that is being taught to them by this
person was wrong and even if they felt it
was wrong how could they know and how could
they feel it right to say no to the trusted
adult or family member?
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Statement: Maybe I led them on.
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Response: Oh my goodness. Is that what we
believe? Did we physically go up to our abuser and say "Please hurt
me" or "Please touch me to where I feel uncomfortable?"
The answer is obviously ... NOT.
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Statement: I must have deserved it.
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Response: Does a child deserve to be made uncomfortable
and even hurt by another person, in particular an adult
and/or authority figure in their life that
they were taught to trust and obey? Does any
child deserve the hurt and pain that it
causes when it happens and even YEARS after it
happened? Does the same child, (Now an adult) deserve to
endure such pain and anguish for years due
to the choices of others?
The answer is ... NO
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Statement: I could have stopped it.
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Response: As a child, we are taught to obey
our parents, and any adults in our lives and
even our older siblings. They are older than
us. They are our FAMILY ... They must be
right. It's what we learned as children.
So, when something begins to happen at a
young age, and the child doesn't KNOW it is
wrong, or even if they do ... How
can they stop it? How can such a fragile
little soul
stand up to someone that is so much older, stronger and supposed to love you and say ...
"No. This isn't right."
In some situations, the victim fears the
abuser may use more force if they try to
stop them. So why tempt it? They live in
fear that what is happening could become
worse. They feel like they can't challenge
the abuser.
The answer
is ... NO.
INCEST SURVIVOR STORY
SURVIVING INCEST SONG
Here's a story I heard one time. About a girl who felt
like what happened was her fault. She never knew the way out.
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Story of Beauty- Destiny's Child
Chorus
Please dry your eyes young girl, don't cry you're
beautiful
It's not your fault young girl, don't cry you're
beautiful
You're not the one to blame
Soon it will be okay, One day you'll realize your beauty
It was a Saturday this cold afternoon
Inside this house there lived a frightened young girl
She didn't know what she should do,
Cuz she missed her mother so
She was left home all alone with her step-father
Chorus
He touched her places that he shouldn't have touched
He did some things to her that he shouldn't have done
Then she ran into her room, paged her mother 9-1-1,
And the tragedy began for this young girl
She told her mother, her family, and friends
No one believed her cuz before this happened,
She was filled with hate and anger, Towards her
step-father,
Cuz he took her mother from her when they married
Chorus
Bridge
She looked for her father in the men that she saw in,
Thought that all she had to offer was her body,
No one could figure out why this young girl would live
her life,
In such pain and unhappiness cuz she was so beautiful
She rebelled and one day the young girl fell in love with
another man like her step-dad
He abused her emotionally
and made her feel like she was worthless
I hope one day she realizes, And sees the beauty in her
eyes,
All she needs is prayer and strength cuz she's beautiful
Chorus 2x
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Hey ... We ARE beautiful.
No matter what anyone says, does or makes us feel, (Even
US)
We ARE beautiful !!!
Making better sense now?
We
are not alone in this darkness are we?
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Response: That is a question millions of
souls are asking and since
these millions of souls are screaming out that
SAME
question ... It reveals that it is NOT just
you. This affliction did not single YOU out. It is a
plague of the mind and heart that is
affecting many other souls as well.
The antidote for this plague
is TRUTH.
TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
Check out this upcoming billboard:
NO WAY !!!
Those statistics are shocking.
INCEST SURVIVOR SURVEY
SURVIVING INCEST STATISTICS
DID YOU KNOW
1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of
18.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the
internet.
Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults occur to
children ages 17 and under.
An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood
sexual abuse exist in America today.
Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is
not always obvious.
Many children do not report that they have been
abused.
Most children don't tell even if they have been
asked.
Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to
ANYONE.
Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in
disclosing.
Of those who
do disclose, approximately 75% disclose
accidentally. Additionally, of those who do
disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even
though the abuse occurred.
Young victims may not recognize their victimization
as being sexual abuse.
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Questions: How could God sit there and just
watch as all this goes on? How could He not step in when I
was screaming for Him? How could He
allow all that was taken from me? How is that okay? God
is supposed to be a God of love. A God of protection. A
God of hope and trust and comfort and peace. NOT of
pain. God could have stopped it if He wanted to.
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Response: Let's take this little detour as to try and
get a new perspective on this VERY important
question. All you need to do right now is kick
back and take
in the scenery. This road
still leads us to where
we are going and will not take that long at
all.
Instead of just thinking about how God is to
blame all of the
time and holding it inside of us, let's
get it all out in the open and replace it
with the Truth.
Have
you ever seen puppets or marionettes (those
puppets held by strings)? They are
completely controlled by whoever is
holding the strings.
They have no life unless the master decides
he wants to play.
That seems to be the way most people see God
as being.
Some sort of Puppet Master.
Well ...
God doesn't work like
that at ALL.
God gave every one of us what is called FREE WILL.
Click on the link below and see what I mean
by Free Will,
then when you come back, we will be back on
the road we need to be on.
INCEST SURVIVOR PATH TO HOPE
SURVIVING INCEST HELPING HAND
Free Will is the ability to choose. A choice to do right or
wrong.
This FREE WILL is given to EVERY soul.
Including those who make horrible choices
and become predators and abusers.
That does not mean God isn't there to hold us and
heal us after we encounter those who used Free Will to
harm us.
The GREAT news is ...
God can take something broken and
shattered and make a masterpiece out of it.
In fact ... That is exactly who God chooses.
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1 Corinthians 1:26-28
For ye see your calling,
brethren, how that not many wise
men after the flesh,
not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath chosen the foolish
things of the world to confound the wise;
and God hath chosen the weak things
of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and
things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things
which are not, to bring to nought things that are. |
Just wait and see.
God has HUGE plans for you.
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We BOTH know ... We HATE what happened.
We BOTH
know ...
It shouldn't have happened.
But it did.
There is nothing
we can do now to change it.
BUT WE CAN
OVERCOME IT.
We must choose to learn how to control those constant
negative thoughts of the experience and resulting emotions or
it will eat us alive like a cancer. If we do not use our
own FREE WILL and CHOOSE to overcome, we will live in a
confused, catatonic and
angered state of mind and heart for the rest of our lives.
We must choose to learn to forgive,
NOT for the sake of the abuser, but for US.
Our LORD commanded
us to forgive or we can not be forgiven ourselves.
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Mark 11:25-26
And when you stand
praying, forgive, if you have anything against any: so your
Father in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if you don't
forgive, neither will your Father in Heaven forgive you. |
INCEST SURVIVOR QUESTIONS
SURVIVING INCEST ANSWERS
Did you catch that? If you have anything
against anyone. Forgive all or you won't be
forgiven. Sorry, there are no levels for the word anything. Anything
means ANY THING.
The word
"Anything" doesn't give us room to suggest that the amount of times that we
were hurt or the intensity of the sin committed against
us, allows us to hold the anger and hate,
which is in truth ... A vicious plague within US.
By
forgiving, it DOES NOT excuse what happened ... But, it
tells us that we are no longer allowing it to control
our lives. We are stronger than that. We should not
CHOOSE to continue living in this State of Hate, Anger
and Pain ...
We are leaving it behind.
You might be
thinking ...
"Okay, fine. I'll forgive, but there's no way I'll
forget what happened" ...
Of course you will
never forget.
Forgiving and forgetting are two COMPLETELY different
things.
Jesus DID ask us to forgive all others so that we too
could be forgiven for our own sins ... But for us to
completely FORGET what was experienced, as if it never
happened, prevents us from LEARNING from it.
To be honest, most people will never forget what
happened to them. That's not necessarily a bad thing
though ... IF they use it wisely. We are able to learn
from what occurred, so that we can avoid placing
ourselves in the same situation which protects us in the
future ...
However ... If one uses the inability to forget as a way
to constantly relive the abuse, over and over again in
their mind ... This will result in their their mind and
spirit being forever encaged by what took place.
No, that does not
sound like something we want, does it?
WE WANT TO BE FREE!!!
To do so ... We
are taught to look forward and not backward.
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Philippians 3:13
Brethren, I count not myself to
have apprehended: but this one
thing I do,
forgetting those things which
are behind,
and
reaching forth unto those things
which are before ...
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INCEST SURVIVOR TRUTH
SURVIVING INCEST PROCESS
We are taught to look FORWARD in HOPE.
BUT ... We DEFINITELY never have to forget what happened
or trust our abuser again.
Ohhh, I like this song coming on the radio ... Let's turn
it up for a minute and listen together.
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Damaged -
Plumb
Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it's all that I've known
True love is a fairy-tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know?
I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm shamed and I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Won't let anyone get close to me
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know
I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm shamed and I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
There's only for my soul
And undo this fear
Forgiveness for a man
Who was stronger
I was just a little *child*
But I can't look back
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Can't go back ...
Can't go back ...
Can't go back ...
Can't go back ...
I can't go back ...
I can't go back ...
I can't go back ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ...
I must go on ... |
Cool song. I like the ending. Just like our trip that we
are on. We have to keep going on.
We have to stop looking back and keep looking forward.
I have an idea !!!
Let's take down the rear view mirror. And the side
mirrors while we are at it. So we are not continually
tempted to look back.
We are headed one way remember?
We have one focus. Remember what it is?
INCEST SURVIVOR TRIP
SURVIVING INCEST ROADWe are
looking for this sign:
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ENTERING
THE STATE OF FREEDOM |
We WILL get there.
One day at a time.
We ARE on the right
road.
Hey, do
we pray correctly?
Random
thought, but it just came to mind.
Prayer is
much different than many think.
It is not
talking TO some far off deity ...
It is
more
like how we are
talking right now.
Like
talking with a friend or Father.
That's what
prayer is all about.
TALKING WITH GOD
... NOT TO HIM
It's not only about "God give me this
and that." But also letting Him know how we feel and
that we may be confused. Talk
normally to Him, like we are doing. We can ask Him questions.
Tell Him about our day. The good and the bad stuff.
Ask
Him to heal us.
Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save
me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my
praise
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All we gotta do is ask.
Matthew 7:7-8
Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find; knock,
and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh
receiveth; and he that seeketh
findeth; and to him that
knocketh it shall be opened.
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INCEST SURVIVOR PROMISE
SURVIVING INCEST VOW
WOW ...
Quite a promise huh?
But, will it work
for US?
I mean, we are
pretty messed up.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Well let's look at
it this way ...
What do we have to
lose except the negative thoughts and resulting emotions
which have us living in darkness and pain?
Let's pull over and
rest for a little while. We made some progress and had a pretty good talk
today. Since we have some down time right now, let's
journal. Remember what we talked about journaling? I
want to encourage us to write. Write about
anything on our mind. Anything that stood out to us
today, whether it be a song, a verse, a story, a sign, something
that was said.
Whatever ...
Maybe write a letter to God. Let Him know where we are headed
and what we want to become.
Let's meet up tomorrow at Day 2.
We will be driving
thru a new STATE of Mind.
Remember, we aren't staying here, just stopping for the
day.
KNOW WHO I AM YET?
We are so very much closer than you know.
Until we meet tomorrow ... I brought along some reading material for us while we continue surviving incest.
See you soon.
Make sure you *bookmark* this page as to continue our trip from day to day!
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If you're
under the care of a doctor, or if you're taking prescription
medication for any reason, DO NOT discontinue it unless you have
orders from your doctor.
Jesus made this statement:
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Luke 5:31
They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. |
This Scripture clearly suggests that even though Jesus
was using an analogy of a human physician to reveal that
He is the healer of the soul ... Jesus acknowledged that
there were human physicians needed for the body at times
when our body is sick. God works thru the hands of many
physicians. Just as God's Spirit will work thru this
program to heal your soul. |
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