HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY MARRIAGE MISTAKES COUNSELING
Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Til Death Do Us Part study program. This is our SON-derful Save My Marriage Bible Study looking into Marriage Mistakes made and how it affects your be-YOU-tiful Christian marriage.
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HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON FORGIVENESS MANY MARRIAGE MISTAKES
I’m so glad that you decided to keep walking and talking with me. Your efforts
will soon be rewarded. We
have learned from the last page that we should be very
careful when playing the blame game or judging others when
it involves something as intimate and sacred as marriage.
When we sense problems within our marriage, we need to seek
out the ROOT of the problem
After talking with thousands of souls about failing and
failed marriages, it has become painfully obvious that the
number one source of and reason for failure in a marriage,
began with the state of Loneliness in one or both of those
within said marriage.
Many entered a marriage because
they were lonely and many others became lonely while in the
marriage.
So, let us begin there.
LONELINESS
Are you tired of being alone because you are single? Are you
married and lonely, even with your spouse in the same room? Are you looking to never
have your marriage fall into the same trap of the mind and
heart?
The problem with being
lonely, besides the obvious feeling, is that being lonely
leaves us vulnerable. The world offers MANY lures for those
who are experiencing this and the enemy of our soul has no
problem whispering his lies of greener grass on the other
side of the fence, to those who get lonely in a marriage.
In an effort for the soul to avoid being lonely, many seek to meet
someone else as to fill the void within. It usually starts off
as seeking a friend to talk to. Even with married souls, it
oft times begins as an "innocent chat" with a stranger ... Tho there are some
married souls who, deep within, premeditate and hope
that the newly found friendship will escalate into something
more.
The problem is when single
souls are lonely and seek someone, most
of the time, they appear to be what you seek at first, but
soon they change and you find yourselves staying with them
out of some sort of convenience, obligation or habit.
Then, after wasting months
and even years of our life ... THE RELATIONSHIP ENDS ANYWAY.
But, does this mean the marriage
was not to be?
Or is it the day to day
negative reactions and emotions changing the spirit of the
marriage?
Despite the TRUTH ... After this, many souls
become encaged by fear due to those past negative
experiences in marriage and they create a wall, an armor of
sorts, around the heart to protect it from the potential of
being hurt again. Some even become bitter towards any soul
who approaches them with any type of interest in fear they
will be hurt. The trust factor is in shambles.
On the other hand, some
choose the other path of pride, anger and bitterness and
make foolish choices, which causes more pain, sorrow and
even shame.
This applies to the married
souls as well and they unleash this misery on their spouse,
family and everyone around them when their spirit is
negatively affected by negative thoughts.
DIVORCE IS USUALLY THE OUTCOME
Then after a period of
fear, doubt, anger, misery, scorn and/or vengeance which has
them make even more foolish choices, they discover that the
void within is not being filled ... They begin to set forth
to find love again. The past failure haunts them. If they have children, it
is even worse because they have to defend their children's
little hearts, as well as their own. It can become lonely
and cause one to lose faith in themselves, others and even
love itself.
During all this, we know deep inside that God did
not intend for us to be in such misery.
We know that God did intend for us to be happy in
our marriage.
This brings
us to another problem and that
is the sexual
desires of one or both, not being satisfied by the other.
This is not a new thing ... But, it IS something that
needs to be addressed.
You see, it is written in God's Word that those who have sexual passions
should marry as to avoid fornication.
1 Corinthians 7:1-2
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto
me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless,
to avoid fornication, let every man have his own
wife,
and let every woman have her own husband. |
The Corinthians were surrounded by sexual
temptation. Sounds like today’s world huh?
We can’t watch a
commercial, drive past a billboard, walk into a store,
without hearing, seeing or being exposed to sexual
temptations. Knowing this,
we should be more understanding of our spouse's exposure to
these lures and resulting need for sexual fulfillment. So let's
discuss this a lil bit, shall we?
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON GRACE MARRIAGE MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM
To begin with
... It is not recommended that couples have
extended time apart.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband: and likewise also the husband hath not
power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not
one the other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer;
and come together again, that Satan tempt you not
for your incontinency. |
The
dictionary defines
incontinency as: The
incapacity to hold
back or
restrain; failure to
restrain the passions or
appetites;
indulgence of
lust;
In short ...
Paul is saying that married people should not stay away from
one another too long as to avoid making poor choices
from their sexual needs not being met.
Too much time
apart gives each person the time to allow their thoughts to
wander and wonder.
This can
cause fear, doubt, confusion, anger and pride ...
For many, this is a natural reaction because of their own
past experience, stories they have been told or just
watching a lil television.
Most do not question how much their spouse loves them while cuddling, sharing a romantic dinner or in the
middle of love making.
No ... Most get these horrible thoughts and resulting
emotions when they are AWAY from their spouse.
ESPECIALLY
for an extended amount of time which is yet another reason
this
"come together again, that Satan tempt you not for
your incontinency"
rule of thumb should be applied
to your marriage.
The Bible
seems to be suggesting that sex should not be withheld
from either partner for any length of time.
Marriage is consummated through the sexual union, and the
two partners become “one flesh” ...
Sexual temptations are very hard to overcome. When a spouse
tends to ignore the needs or desires that the other has,
they may eventually go and find it elsewhere.
I am NOT
saying this is righteous ...
I am saying
that God has given married souls
natural and normal desires to be intimate with one another ...
By not satisfying the other’s needs,
you are “defrauding” the other. If there is a reason one
does not want to be intimate, talk to the other one. Find
the root problem, and then you can resolve it instead of
having to deal with one “cheating” on the other because one
did not want to satisfy the other’s sexual desires.
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON SEX MARRIAGE MISTAKES CURE
Remember, in marriage, our bodies do not belong to us
anymore.
Spiritually our body belongs to God.
Physically,
our bodies belong to our spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband: and likewise also the husband hath not
power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with
consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to
fasting and prayer; and come together again, that
Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. |
Remember ...
The Lord tells us that two
become one through the union of a wife and husband.
(Same
team!)
How do you think your spouse feels when you say “I’m not in
the mood” or show lack of interest?
It is as tho
one takes a blessed gift from God and turns it into
a chore!
So after days, weeks, months, even YEARS of craving their
spouse and being rejected time after time ...
Filling the void of loneliness combined with the natural
sexual passions becomes essential.
They will oft times find other
means to fulfill their desires.
AGAIN ...
No, what they do is NOT justified by any means ...
But, if their needs would have been met by the spouse ...
They would not have felt compelled to do so.
It usually doesn’t happen after just one time ...
In most cases
... The Love they had usually takes time to erode to the
point that they would actually cheat.
But, the enemy
of our soul has many lures for a soul left in such a
condition.
It's more of a slow fade into a crumbling relationship.
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON THE SLOW FADE MARRIAGE MISTAKES TEARS AND FEARS
Slow Fade by Casting Crowns
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness
pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
CHORUS:
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
CHORUS
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
CHORUS
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
*Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see* |
Okay... it's time to be honest with ourselves okay?
Do we stay faithful to our spouse?
Wait ... Before you answer right away ... Let me reword it ...
Have you ever looked at someone else thinking they are attractive?
Have you ever passed by someone and smiled in a flirtatious
way?
Have you ever worn something to draw attention to any part
of your body?
Have you ever look at another’s body when they were trying
to draw attention to it?
Have you ever sat too close to someone of the opposite sex?
Have you ever made a flirtatious statement to anyone other
than your spouse?
Have you ever been unfaithful in ANY way to your spouse?
If the answer is yes, its time to change.
The Lord says
that if you look upon another with lust, you have committed
the act:
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a
woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with
her already in his heart. |
Would you mind someone else looking at your spouse’s body
with lust?
Smiling at your spouse flirtatiously?
Sitting too close to your spouse?
Saying something flirtatious to try to get your spouse?
I would hope you would mind a little.
After all it
is YOURS.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband: and likewise also the husband hath not
power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with
consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to
fasting and prayer; and come together again, that
Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. |
SAME TEAM remember?
Your body is not to be shared and passed around, just as
their body is not.
It can all start with wearing a revealing outfit outside or
making eyes at someone walking by causing them to commit
Spiritual adultery.
As Jesus
said:
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a
woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with
her already in his heart. |
But alas ...
If you do not grasp the TRUTH that has been shared, please
consider this:
1 Corinthians 6:19
What? know ye not that
your body
is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you,
which ye have of God,
and ye are not your
own? |
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON POSSESSION MARRIAGE MISTAKES CAN BE FORGOTTEN
Your body is
NOT yours to give away.
NO MATTER
WHAT.
Here is a
song to consider as we try to learn what Love is
really about again.
Song of Solomon- Sara Groves
Disenchanted love, and an intimacy that’s broken
A symbol of all trust used to self gratify
In the middle of it all, Solomon is singing
You are my bride, my perfect one
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
The goodness of human love is taken for granted
We turn it into a lust that tears us apart
We give up God’s gifts for dust and ashes
And blame Him for the pain growing our hearts
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
I’m for you and you’re for me and we’ve been set apart
Place me like a seal over your heart
I’m for you and you’re for me and we’ve been set apart
Place me like a seal over your heart
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon |
Grab tight to your Love and don’t leave them.
Don’t give the
Devil time to plant seeds in their mind.
Don’t give them a
reason to want to go elsewhere to be satisfied.
Solomon’s Song by Plumb
Dark is the night
Calm is the sea
Soft blows the wind
Through the evening trees
Tired are the eyes
That have seen all you've seen
Just let your mind
Start to dream
mmm ...(repeats)
Puddles of rain
Dry overnight
Stars in the sky
Twinkle in their eyes
The curls on your head
Your fingers and toes
All need their rest
For tomorrow
I will never leave you
I am always here
I will never leave you
I am always near.
Dark is the night
Calm is the sea
Soft blows the wind
Through the evening trees
Tired are the eyes
That have seen all you've seen
Just let your mind
Start to dream
mmm ...(repeats) |
Let's ponder on everything from today.
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY INSTRUCTIONS MARRIAGE MISTAKES AND MISERY
What changes do we
need to make? What things do we need to admit to ourselves?
What ways can WE keep the marriage from fading?
Once we stop it from fading ... Then we can truly RESTORE it!
It is all
about Love.
Check out
this study:
STEP TWO
OVERCOMING
HOW TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY ON MARRIAGE MISTAKES
In order to complete step two ...
Choose to show your spouse, partner, friend or even a
stranger an act of LOVE you would usually not do by avoiding the
pride that usually accompanies the act of doing so.
Continuing in EACH step daily is so very important.
Go back over each step often to
be sure you have not missed anything.
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