It is so
great to see you chose to return.
One thing that
kept me doing self harm for so long was that
I never really had a good reason to quit. I
had many reasons to quit... but not a GOOD
reason that made me WANT to quit. I always
kept focusing on reasons why I needed to
continue. And there was a quite a list for
that.
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES STUDY WITH
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES AND SELF HARM COPING STRATEGIES MESSAGE
But, I was focusing on the wrong list.
Of course I'm never going to heal if I don't
want to . I'm never going to heal if I'm
always justifying why self harm is okay to
do.
Of course I had people tell me I needed to
quit, or get angry or upset because I didn't
quit when they thought I did... but I was so
wrapped up in all the reasons why I couldn't
let it go, that everything anyone said to me
went in one ear and out the other. I didn't
care what they said.
They didn't
understand me.
I had to decide to stop on my own. I had to
make the decision myself. No one could make
it for me.
Again... I DID have a lot of reasons I
should have quit... but I didn't have that
ONE that made me WANT to quit.
But honestly... sometimes I just didn't try
to find that reason. (Until after I realized
I felt like I lost control of it and I
thought about it all the time.)
I had already accepted the fact that I was
...what do they call us again?... emo,
messed up, insane, freak, attention seeking
losers... I had accepted that. I didn't want
to quit. I didn't have the strength to even
try to quit. I was who I was... no one can
fix it, so just accept it or go away.
Right?
Besides, I figured if I were to find reasons
to stop, true reasons that made me really
want to stop, I would end up messing up
later anyway and go back to my old self.
I've already failed so much already, what
makes this time any different? I didn't want
to just set myself up for failure.
I had to want to quit and believe I could.
One without the other.... really was setting
myself up for failure.
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES TRUTH WITH
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES BLESSING BRINGING FORTH
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES HOPR
I had to learn and accept that I'm not what
people labeled me. I don't have to be like
this for the rest of the my life.
I had to find the strength. I had to.
(And between
you and me... that strength that I have
found to fight the really strong urges...
you know the ones that you fight off
consistently for hours, having to hold a
blanket or an object to feel some kind of
comfort, remind yourself to breathe every so
often and just try to rock if off?... yeah
THOSE bad urges.... the strength I needed to
overcome some of them DID NOT come from me.
I am certainly not that strong. Not even
close. It was during those times when I held
tight to my reasons of needing to stop and
just prayed it would pass. The strength
somehow came. I found it when I wanted it
the most. In my absolute worst hours, if I
wanted it bad enough, that strength came. It
didn't make the hour any easier to get
through...BUT I DID get through it.)
It IS possible to stop.
Sometimes knowing that we NEED to quit
something is very different than WANTING to
quit something. How do you WANT to quit
something that you BELIEVE makes you feel better?
First… you have to find the motivation
behind quitting. You have to find a reason
that makes you want to quit. Everyone has a
different reason for starting, and everyone
has a different reason that helps them
personally want to stop. Something that
when you become tempted, you can think about
your reasons behind WANTING to quit, and it
helps you fight the temptation and keeps you
going another day.
I tried
really hard
I thought
today would be good
I tried to
have a new start
I didn’t
know my decisions would
Influence
you as much as they did.
I’m always
so misunderstood.
Each
breath takes so much effort
You
weren’t supposed to see
One moment
of escape
But I only
thought of me.
I just had
a bad day
The marks
started to bleed
That
wasn’t my intention
And I felt
my spirit leave.
I don’t
know who I am anymore
I feel my
heart getting colder
My soul
begins to ache
And I just
keep getting older.
I feel
like I’ll never change
I’m
addicted to it now
I thought
I had control of this.
I think I
need help somehow.
|
We need to
admit we need help.
We need to
admit that it must end.
So, how DO
you quit?
How do you
make yourself WANT to quit?
One thing at
a time…
REASONS
TO QUIT
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES LIST OF SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES REASONS FOR SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES PEACE
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|
1) CONTROL
You lose control and
the addiction actually ends up controlling you. How many
times have you not been able to concentrate because all you
are able to think about is harming yourself just one more
time? Don’t you want that control back?
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|
2) FREEDOM
To be set free. To
look back and say I was able to heal from this. To get your
life back.
Most of us, when we
start, don’t imagine what we do ever becoming an addiction.
We think we have complete control over it. Until we find
ourselves thinking about it all day long. Waiting until the
moment we can do it again. We can hardly enjoy anything
good that MIGHT even come our way because we are so fixated
on getting another hit or buzz from whatever we do. It
starts to control US rather than us having control over it.
We feel at times that we have become its slave and have lost
all power over our lives. We CAN get our life back. We CAN
be set free from this. We WILL be able to look back and say
I was able to heal from this.
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3) HARMING OTHERS
Doing what you
do, though you only do it to yourself, actually
harms other people. What were to happen if the
people in your life knew what you did? If you have
experienced someone that you love finding out what
you do and seen the tears, or heard the sobs, or
seen the helplessness in their face because they
have no idea how to help you … You would understand
more. If you haven’t experienced that yet, imagine
finding someone in your life that you love, a
friend, family member and YOU find out THEY harm
themselves, or see the physical evidence on them.
How would you feel?
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|
4) DEATH
You can seriously harm
yourself to the point of death. Many of us when we self
harm, don’t intend to kill ourselves, we are just trying to
find some kind of relief. This goes with most self harm
techniques from cutting to drugs, to alcohol to
suffocation.
With drinking, many know
that if they drink too much they lose judgment and end up
making decisions they regret in the morning… or for the rest
of their lives (risk of an unplanned pregnancy, driving
intoxicated and getting caught, having a car accident and
injuring or killing another person while driving (we’ve all
heard the stories and seen the commercials). Just because
we are sure it won’t happen to you gives you even MORE
reason to believe it will. Then there is the obvious long
terms effects of possible cancer, loss of brain cells, nerve
damage, ulcers, high blood pressure, liver failure and
more.
Cutting, scratching, or
burning can lead to serious infections. You can cut
too deep and end up hitting an vein and not be able to stop
the bleeding.
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|
5) SECRETS
Do you ever get tired
of the secrets? Tired of hiding everything? Whether its
hiding bottles, blades, drugs, etc from everyone? Then
having to hide what you did on YOU so they don’t see?
Your life becomes a
secret. Like leading a double life. One part that you
allow them to see… another completely different part that no
one knows is there but you.
It gets tiring after a
while.
Yet another reason to try
to break free… get rid of the secret.
|
6) TO HELP SOMEONE
You know how hard it is
to get help from someone that hasn’t actually been through
the struggle you are going through? How much easier it is
to relate to someone that has experienced it? Of course we
know that feeling. No one truly understands unless they
have been there. They might try as hard as they can to
help… but its not the same as someone who’s been there.
We can one day be able to
help other souls that are struggling with this exact same
thing. We can help a soul that no one else can seem to
help. WE can be that ONE person that can look at them
as say “I UNDERSTAND”.
|
7) LOVE YOURSELF
To those that are
struggling with this addiction… can you look in the mirror,
stare back at the reflection, and say you love yourself?
Can you say it and mean it?
Not many of us can.
The shame, regret,
loneliness, and fear seem to be the only things we find in
our reflection. Love… is not one of them.
|
8) INFLUENCING OTHERS
So you don’t
negatively influence others…children, siblings, students,
friends, people that look up to you.
Do you remember at any
point in your life when you have ever looked up to someone?
Have you ever looked up or admired someone that didn’t know
you looked up to them?
We could (and probably
are) being looked up to or admired by someone and don’t
realize it… so you think that “no one looks up to me”… don’t
be so sure.
What did you think of the
person you admired? Everything they did was cool. If they
did something, it must be okay. How do they cope because
they always seem to have it together…
People we don’t know (or
we might know people that look up to us) see or find out
that we self harm… those that want to be just like us find
it okay to do the same thing. Some that are close to us,
may even attempt the same thing we do just to find out how
it makes us feel…
May sound odd, but it is
very true.
We affect others around
us. Whether we want to admit it or not. So instead of
subtly encouraging others to start the addiction of self
harm and follow in our footsteps, lets find a way to stop
and break the habit so we don’t negatively affect any others
anymore.
|
IT IS
TIME TO BREAK THE HABIT !!!
"Breaking
The Habit"- Linkin Park
Memories
consume
Like
opening the wound
I'm
picking me apart again
You all
assume
I'm safe
here in my room
Unless I
try to start again
[Bridge:]
I don't
want to be the one
The
battles always choose
'Cause
inside I realize
That I'm
the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't
know what's worth fighting for
Or why I
have to scream
I don't
know why I instigate
And say
what I don't mean
I don't
know how I got this way
I know
it's not alright
So I'm
breaking the habit
I'm
breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching
my cure
I tightly
lock the door
I try to
catch my breath again
I hurt
much more
Than
anytime before
I had no
options left again
[Bridge:]
I dont
want to be the one
The
battles always choose
'Cause
inside I realize
That I'm
the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't
know what's worth fighting for
Or why I
have to scream
I don't
know why I instigate
And say
what I don't mean
I don't
know how I got this way
I'll never
be alright
So, I'm
breaking the habit
I'm
breaking the habit
Tonight
[Bridge:]
I'll paint
it on the walls
'Cause I'm
the one at fault
I'll never
fight again
And this
is how it ends
[Chorus:]
I don't
know what's worth fighting for
Or why I
have to scream
But now I
have some clarity
to show
you what I mean
I don't
know how I got this way
I'll never
be alright
So, I'm
breaking the habit
I'm
breaking the habit
I’m
breaking the habit
Tonight
|
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES PROCEDURE AND
SELF
HARM COPING STRATEGIES PRACTICE
Today in your journal, write down reasons
that encourage you to stop. It may be one
reason, it may be ten reasons. It may be a
reasons already listed, or a reason you came
up with yourself. If you did think of
reasons that are not already listed, I would
like to encourage you to email us with your
reasons so we can add them to our list and
make it even longer.
YOUR reason could
encourage another soul to stop.
YOU could
save a life by sharing.
Do not
forget to check out some of the studies that
relate to you.
Whenever you
are ready, I’ll meet you at the next page.
