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A SUPPORTIVE WIFE
Christianity Oasis Ministry has provided you with this A Supportive Wife study. This being a Supportive Wife study looks at what is a Supportive Wife, how to be a Supportive Wife, and what being a Supportive Wife can mean to your husband, your children and your Lord. How can being a Supportive Wife enhance your own life? Let us seek and find the truth of being a Supportive Wife together in this being a Supportive Wife study, shall we?


 

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THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN
A RECIPE

STEP #15


Welcome back ...

Today's Virtuous Vitamin is
~CONTENTMENT~

satisfied with one's status

 

Proverbs 31 ... Verse 23
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

 

A SUPPORTIVE WIFE

A SUPPORTIVE WIFE STUDY ON BEING A SUPPORTIVE WIFE WITH A SUPPORTIVE WIFE TIPS AND A SUPPORTIVE WIFE MESSAGE


Welcome back. You're doing a great job! You're already halfway through with the 28 Steps of this program, and there's still plenty of great TRUTH ahead!

 You know, I can't help but think about king Lemuel again, and his concerned mother when I read this verse ... But what does it mean to you? Well, the gates, may be referring to one of two things ... In Biblical times, many cities had walls built around them, and the gates of course would be the place where people would enter and exit the city, but the palaces, where kings lived, also had a wall around them with a gate for entry and exit, and it was called the king's gate ... You'll find many references to the "king's gate" in the Book of Esther. The elders of the land, would of course be older men who were wise through experience and were leaders of the people. 

Now imagine, a man, who has a good reputation, is respected, and holds a place of authority ... What kind of woman would he want to be known as his wife? Does this make you think back to the story of Sir Gawain and the Witch again?

Having a noble character is very important to a man, and being his "other half" it's important that a woman be noble as well.

Now, let's talk about your "king" and your castle for a while. It's a rough world out there, and every ounce of support that you offer to your soul-mate is so very important.

A SUPPORTIVE WIFE TRUTH WITH A SUPPORTIVE WIFE BLESSING BRINGING A SUPPORTIVE WIFE HOPE

Behind every good man, should stand a good woman. There I go with the old sayings again! She does not desire his administration though. She is content to be a woman, as God made her, and to fulfill the moral obligations of a virtuous woman. She doesn't lie in wait for him to return home from a day of earning a living for the family, to dump the children on him and take a Calgon bath because her life as a homemaker is so rough either. No, she eagerly awaits his return to their home because she loves him, cannot wait to see his smiling eyes and takes every opportunity she can to make him as happy as she can. She knows how fortunate she is that she is protected from the world that he deals with, day in and day out, and always shows her appreciation of that fact.

Sure, everyone has a bad day from time to time, as we know, but with the right attitude, you will find those days to be very rare. Compare your day with his. Most of the events of his day are beyond his control. Rush hour traffic, nagging boss, deadlines, competitors, co-workers ... Not to mention all the games that satan and his cohorts throw in to try and lure him to be anything but a virtuous man.

Your day, on the other hand, is very much in your own control. Screaming children can be turned into the chortling of little angel voices with a few jars of finger paint and a poster board. You get to see the awe and wonder of innocent faces as you tell them the story of Jesus' life, or read them a Little Golden Book. Even though you've told them the same stories a million times, they still hang on to your every syllable.

You can choose when to do laundry, cook, clean, sew ... Anything you wish. Best of all, you can spend time with God, whenever you want to, and nobody can say a word about it ... EVER! Knowing that he is returning to a happy home at the end of the day, your husband's day in the "gates," will be much easier to cope with.

You're not only showing your husband how much you cherish him by making his home his castle, but you are showing God as well. If Jesus was watching, would you miss a chance to get your husband something cool to drink or have dinner ready when he gets there? Would you complain about getting him his slippers or making sure his favorite chair didn't have matchbox cars and Playdoh all over it? Would you be embarrassed if there were dishes piled in the sink and trash billowing out of the can? With the right attitude, and love in your heart, you'll find that you feel like you can't do enough for him. With your betrothed taking care of his work outside the home, and you, taking care of your work inside the home, that will leave you both with more time to spend together, and what better recipe could there be? 

Oh, and one more thing ... Don't make it a requirement for the love of your life to say thank you for every little thing you do. Chances are you don't thank him for going to work every day, or for paying the mortgage, or for providing groceries, or for mowing the lawn. There are things that are just expected ... From both sides of your unity, and sometimes, when one is feeling all mushy and romantic, then it's really cool to express your appreciation for a certain thing, but don't make it a job, or a contest, or an obligation ... That's just not how love works.

SPEAKING OF RECIPES

There is another old saying that I'm sure you've heard before, and I've noticed a lot of women believe it's the right recipe for finding a man who truly loves them. It goes something like this: If you love something, set it free ... If it comes back, it's yours ... If it doesn't, it never was yours to begin with. (That may not be word for word, but you get the idea.) Now, if you're a TRUTH seeker, you'll see that in essence what this is really saying is, if you love a man, kick him to the curb and if he comes crawling back, then you've got it made sister.

BLECHHHHH!

THAT'S LOVE???

A SUPPORTIVE WIFE WARNING ON A SUPPORTIVE WIFE DANGERS WITH A SUPPORTIVE WIFE CONCERNS

First off, if you truly love someone, you couldn't bear the idea of being without them so badly that this thought would never be a consideration, ever, ever, EVER! Secondly, what are you trying to prove? That you're tough as nails or that nothing sways you? (So what?) Maybe you're one who will NEVER be controlled by a man. In a whisper, God made women to be controlled by their man. Remember, "and they desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Genesis 3:16) Do you suppose everyday life doesn't test love enough, that you have to place the added burden on your soul-mate that you may, at will, "set him free" to test his love? That's preposterous! ... But very today's woman-ish. If you practice this "recipe" you're setting up a foundation for failure, in two ways:

1. You're forcing, in the name of love, your soul-mate to cower to you, which makes him lose self respect and lose trust in you, and ...
2. This subconsciously and simultaneously makes you lose respect for him too. 

This game only diminishes the manliness of the man that you're so desperately seeking, and diminishes your womanhood as well. You will be single handedly creating your own demise by doing this. A woman wants a man to be the man. She wants to be the weaker vessel. She wants to be what she was intended by God to be ... If she's virtuous. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by cooking up this kind of recipe. A similar antic which women actually think is clever and frequently use to try and "catch" a man, is to play hard to get. Again, if you're a TRUTH seeker, and you truly love someone, wild horses couldn't keep you away from them. Don't play games with love. You could lose.

NEED A BAND AID?

Let's have a little refresher, in case you forgot the message back in Step 4. Okay, so what do you do now ifffff ... Perhaps you've been a very dominating woman. Your mate, loves you so much he would rather allow your persistence to wield authority that God never gave woman, than to lose you. Well, your respect for each other, as I mentioned earlier, needs fixing and you may need to initiate it. (Because maybe you had something to do with creating the problem?) Your domineering causes his weakness. It's a cycle that must be broken. You must surrender your insistence to be the "almighty woman" before he will ever even be interested in being the man that you really want and need. Communicate. Surrender. Apologize. Repent. Start fresh. Give the king his crown back ... Yes, that one that you snatched off of his head and put on your own.

JEALOUS?

For some women, instead of the dominant/submissive problem, jealousy of their mate's job, reputation, influence, power, etc., is the issue. It's a dog-gone shame, because if the spirit of jealousy was instead a spirit of understanding, so much more could be accomplished for God. We're all unique. We all have a calling. God has a plan for each of us. But as you know, when you espouse someone else, you two become one, and if you are truly ONE with your husband, you both will compliment each other's qualities and work together to serve the Lord in unity. There's no time for jealousy ... God has business for you to do!

Now, here you are, halfway through with this program and there are probably some things that have become clear that you really hadn't contemplated about before. I'm sure there have also been some things that you have disagreed with, but because you love God, you're trying to work through them, but even with all this effort, all this fuss about being virtuous, deep inside you may be wondering ...

WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

Well, beside looking into the mirror of your soul and not feeling disgusted, let me mention a few of the benefits of being virtuous.

Earthly Things Eternal Things
  • a husband that absolutely adores you (verse 28)

  • the obvious respect of other virtuous women and the secret respect of worldly women - trendsetter

  • strength and honor (verse 25)

  • admiration of your children (verse 28)

  • praise (verse 30)

  • peace of mind

  • self respect

  • purpose

  •  eternal life

  • invitation to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb

  • become an Angel

  • many mansions (John 14:2)

  • no death, sorrow, crying, pain or tears (Revelation 21:4)

  • was there something else you wanted?

 

Sounds like a good deal to me ... In fact, a bargain!

A virtuous woman learns all she can from her husband, but applies it to her own ministry within the home. If it seems like a tough challenge ... That's only because the world has taught you otherwise. The environment outside of her home is not part of a virtuous woman's identity.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Philippians 4:11
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Did I make those things up? No way. They're from the Bible girls. So if you're in contention, who are you really in contention with?

PROCRASTINATION ... UGH!

A lot of times, we don't face things head on because we're afraid of the TRUTH. A big part of the reason why women don't adopt virtue as their default method of living is because of selfish reasons. The TRUTH is, they like the lifestyle that they lead, free of the responsibility of being righteous ... Yes, being virtuous does take a lot of responsibility. They also don't want to miss out on the "fun" that they've become accustomed to. My friend, I tell you this with all sincerity; what the world offers may look exciting, fun, pleasing, captivating ... But we don't see what lies behind it's deceptive promises. The promises of the world are temporary. What may seem fun, exciting, or feel good for a moment will all soon turn to dust, but the soul lives on forever. 

You were led here by the Holy Spirit because in one way or another, even though you may be hiding the TRUTH from yourself and procrastinating, He heard your soul groaning for change. You may not want to admit it to yourself, because it means you will have to give up some things, some actions, some habits, some mannerisms, but He heard, and He's hoping you will lean on Him for help in this very fulfilling quest that you've taken on. I urge you to press on, because there are a lot of great things ahead to learn about and think about and the rewards are ...

ETERNAL!

And as always, reflect on God's Grace, every day of your life. Thank Him and praise Him for it, because it's the best thing we could ever hope for! God is proud of you!


STEP #15

Meditate on:

CONTENTMENT

Related Study: 


Music Selection:

WHO AM I
BY CASTING CROWNS



Don't forget to write in your Personal Journal!

Go back over each Step often to be sure you have not missed anything.
 

To continue our program, select:

STEP #16

 Iíll meet you there!
 

 

VIRTUOUS WOMAN STEPS



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