The Virtuous Woman
The Virtuous Wife
How to Be a Godly Wife
Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Virtuous Woman study program. This
is our fascinating path called the Virtuous Wife Bible journey
seeking ways of how to be a Godly Wife as the Lord requests of you.
The absolutely be-YOU-tiful message within the Virtuous Wife path to
truth will bring enLIGHTening Truth to your YOU-nique Christian path.
Start this adventure from the beginning:
Let's start Step 3 with the first half of Verse 11 from Proverbs 31.
The Virtuous Wife Journey
How to Be a Godly Wife Adventure
So nice to have you back again. We have a really great topic to
discuss within this verse, and it's one that says a lot about a
woman's virtue ... Trust. The Virtuous Wife knows that it's a good
feeling to be trusted. To know that others depend on you and that
you're consistent and predictable says a lot about your character. It
also reveals that you're honest. What does the world think ... Well,
today's woman would probably tell you that being unpredictable is
much more exciting. An unpredictable person is someone who you never
know what to expect from. Do you know people who are proud to be
unpredictable? Does that sound very dependable? Does that definition
depict a trustworthy individual? It's your call.
We all know that the eyes of God are on us at every moment, even when
nobody else is looking. You may have heard before that it's what you
do when no one else is looking, that really counts and identifies who
you are. What would God say if He was asked if you could be trusted?
We will all get our chance to know just that. If you've never heard
of the Great White Throne Judgment, you may want to ponder on
Revelation 20:12-13. And while reflecting on what it will be like
when we stand before our maker to make our account of our lives,
remember that He wants us to live righteously out of love for Him,
not out of fear of Him. And never forget that He forgives us when we
How to Be a Trustworthy Virtuous Wife
Okay, so one of the first things that king Lemuel's mother listed as
an endearing asset of a virtuous woman is that she's trustworthy.
Now, I know we've only been through a few steps of the program, and
you've probably seen me wander off the beaten path of our topic
several times by now, and ... Here I go again!
Well ... I have questions!
Who was this king Lemuel, anyway? He wasn't mentioned anywhere else
in the Bible, and even if you do a web search, you won't find many
hard facts about him. How old was he during his reign? We know that
there was one king (Joash) that reigned as young as the age of seven
in Jerusalem, so who knows? He certainly wasn't a king of Israel or
Judah any time before the captivity, or he would be mentioned in one
of the Books of Kings. Where was he from? Oh, what difference does it
make, right? Maybe. But what if we want to know more, so that we can
relate better to the whole message that this mother wanted her son to
heed. Then we'll have to just dig deeper into the scripture and see
what we can find out.
Let's see if we can get a little better acquainted with Lemuel and
his mom, who lived in a time that was so very different than our
world today ... Or was it? Perhaps it's safe to assume that Lemuel
was not married yet, and that his mom hoped to favorably influence
him about choosing an honorable woman.
The Virtuous Wife Path to Peace
How to Be a Godly Wife Recipe
We all know how protective mothers can be, right? Well, it may have
been that king Lemuel's mother sensed trouble in Lemuel's future
because of one reason or another. Why would I assume that? Let me
point out that in the beginning verses of this proverb, one thing
that Lemuel's mom made it a point to warn her son about, was
drinking, so could it have been that she noticed that her son, the
king, was apt to party a little too ... Enthusiastically?
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to
drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the
judgment of any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and
wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his
misery no more.
Oh, who knows, it could have been that Lemuel's dad drank a bit too
much and she didn't want him to follow in his dad's footsteps. Or it
could have been that there were other kings of neighboring kingdoms
that hit the sauce to excess. No matter, I'll get to the point.
Lemuel's mother spent four verses advising him about drinking, and
twenty-three verses advising him about the importance of virtue in a
Now, usually royalty is passed down from generation to generation by
bloodline, so do you suppose that Lemuel's mother, who we might
assume was herself the wife of a king (Lemuel's daddy), thought she'd
better have a little heart to heart with little Lem and make sure he
didn't just go out and choose some tawdry woman to be sitting next to
him on the throne, because she knew that such a disgrace could
destroy the kingdom?
Being the wife of a king, Lemuel's mother knew how important it was
for her king to trust her, and wanted her precious son to find a
woman who he could trust as implicitly as possible.
What's all this got to do with you?
How to be a Godly Wife Secret ... If you are a married woman, you are
the queen of your household and your husband is the king (so to
speak). You work together as a team for the good of all in your
family. You have to trust one another in order for the family to work
in harmony and to be profitable servants representing Jesus. How do
you know trust is such a big deal and important for a virtuous woman?
Just imagine overhearing your king talking about you and saying, I
think the queen of the castle is a virtuous woman ... I just don't
God Loves the Virtuous Wife
How to Be a Godly Wife Here and Now
You see how it doesn't work?! They go together. They belong together.
Virtue, trust ... Together ... They fit. It just feels right.
Now, we just took a little detour off the beaten How to be a Godly
Wife path so that you could reach in and open your mind to exploring
the different perspectives an issue can have. Now I'm going to use
some reverse psychology here, but I'm warning you ahead of time so
it's all fair. Here it comes ... It's good to give new ideas a
chance, right? The new ideas that this program is proposing ... Are
old ideas ... Old fashioned ideas ... Ancient ideas. Fun, ain't it?
Just to ease your mind a bit, who really is this king Lemuel and his
mom? Nobody really seems to know for certain but the name Lemuel
means "to God," which some think is sort of a nickname of endearment
for Solomon because the Lord referred to him as Jedidiah which means
"beloved of God." Solomon's testimony of his experiences with wine
and women in the book of Ecclesiastes would warrant this kind of
admonition from his mother, making it easy to believe that Lemuel may
We also know that Solomon was very young when he became king so it
would be fitting for Bathsheba, his mother to instruct him as to how
he will need to act as a king. One last hint that Lemuel may be
Solomon is that his mother addresses him as the son of my vows. The
first son of David and Bathsheba was a son of adultery, and because
it was a child of broken vows, that son had to die, but after David
was forgiven, the Lord obviously accepted the marriage vows and the
child Solomon, so we must all decide for ourselves whether Solomon is
poetically referring to himself as Lemuel, or whether the identity of
Lemuel belongs to someone else.
Now that we've had a pretty good exercise in opening our minds and
hearts to different possibilities, let's get back to our study, shall
Patience is a Virtue
Remember that I told you that this whole virtuous woman lifestyle
isn't easy? (Or did I say it was? Oh, that's right, it has something
to do with our attitude, right?) No matter ... You must remember to
be patient with yourself. When you decided that you wanted to change
your life and seek the virtuous life, in essence, you're going
through a rebirth, a transformation, and you're setting a new example
for the women of this day and age.
It won't happen overnight. There are probably lots of beliefs that
you have that are un-virtuous, yet because they are what was
instilled in you, probably since you were a child, and you never
learned any different, you believe they are virtuous. It will take
time for you to realize this, and begin to expose the Truth to
yourself about the lies that the world has deceivingly taught you are
The Virtuous Wife Hope
How to Be a Godly Wife Here and Hereafter
They say this is brainwashing ... Yes, many will say that you
are the one being brainwashed into believing that virtue is ...
Virtuous ... How absurd!
Why oh why do I keep repeating myself? Because repetition is the key
to learning and remembering things. And like we learned earlier, many
attempts repeated, complete any undertaking.
You will stumble, just like a toddler learning to walk, you are
learning how to walk a new walk, and your old ways may keep you
tripping over your own feet, and it may even feel like you're
crawling again, but you have to get up and keep on trying.
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has a bad day. You are not a
failure if you have trouble with one thing or another. Just reach out
your hand, grasp on to the Holy Spirit and hold on tighter than you
were before and carry on, with even more determination to do better
because you've learned yet another lesson that will make it easier to
get through the next time when a situation arises where you have to
make a decision between acting virtuously ... Or not.
Now ... Back to the Virtuous Wife subject of trust.
When you make a mistake, admit it to yourself, to God, and to anyone
that you may have hurt by it. By revealing your mistakes, you're
demonstrating that you can be trusted because you're not trying to
I want you to think about something for a moment. Have you ever done
something untrustworthy and repented for it, but later on, you felt
like the person you offended might never trust you again, though you
know in your heart how sorry you are, and that you will try with your
whole being to never do anything like that again?
How to be a Godly Wife Tidbit of Truth ... Everybody has felt that
before. Even the person who you think won't trust you again has done
something untrustworthy and has probably felt that same "they'll
never trust me again" feeling. Maybe they're very good at keeping it
a secret, but again, it's that part of being human called Original
Sin. There's only One person who is totally and unquestionably
trustworthy and that is Jesus Christ.
Everyone else just falls into different degrees of untrustworthiness,
so don't condemn yourself to a point of depression or feel like you
can never gain trust again, because every relationship goes through
different stages of trust, and all we can do is strive to be the best
we can be. When you fall, sincerely repent and get back up on your
feet immediately. Each time God forgives us for something, He puts
His trust in us once again. It's a terrible, horrible feeling to be
un-trusted. Work hard at being trustworthy. And always thank God for
His liberating Grace.
One time when I was wallowing in self pity because of a bad decision
I had made, a friend of mine (the one that was affected by my poor
choice) graciously explained something very important to me. Let's
say your child did a bad thing and you sent her to her room for time
out. You explained to her that the only time she ever gets in trouble
is when she does something that can hurt another, or hurt herself.
A little while later you passed by the door of the child's room and
heard her banging her head against the wall because she felt so bad
for what she had done. That certainly wasn't what you wanted her to
do. You simply wanted her to be sorry for what she did, learn her
lesson, and then come out and be her happy little self again. My
friend, God feels the same way. He doesn't want you to punish
yourself or pout and feel unworthy for any amount of time. He just
wants you to learn your lesson, sincerely repent, and get back to
being His beloved child again.
I have another How to be a Godly Wife story to tell you. This same
true blue friend of mine,
also explained it this way (at a different time when I made yet
another poor choice).
When you do something that hurts someone, compare it to slapping them
hard in the face. But then afterward when you come back into the
light and see what you've done wrong ... You cry because you feel so
bad (for yourself) that you did something unrighteous. It's kind of
like slapping someone, and then crying, "Ohhh, my poor hand hurts."
Just wanted to share those two little tidbits with you, to put in
your arsenal against the enemy the next time he tries to convince you
that "Woe is me" is the path to grace. It is not.
Trust is a Must
How to be a Godly Wife Trivia Time ... What is the foundation of
love? Trust. Notice that it's the first virtue mentioned in this
prophecy. It's a main ingredient in the recipe. Do you ever ask
yourself: Does my husband trust me Completely beyond a shadow of a
doubt? More importantly: Does God trust me ... Completely, and beyond
a shadow of a doubt? God knows your soul by using your spirit to look
within you. You can't hide anything from Him.
The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.
He doesn't need to know your User ID or your password. He knows
what's in your secret files, your journal entries and what's hidden
behind the shoe boxes in your closet. Much more than that, He knows
what's in your most secret of hiding places ... Your mind. He doesn't
need a special key, a plastic card, a secret combination, your
fingerprints, your DNA or to scan your retinas to gain access to
everything you think, say and do.
The Virtuous Wife of God
How to Be a Godly Wife and Bride of Christ
1 Chronicles 28:9
And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve
Him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD
searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the
thoughts: if thou seek Him, He will be found of thee; but if thou
forsake Him, He will cast thee off for ever.
And He that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the
Spirit, because He maketh intercession for the Saints according to
the will of God.
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD
weigheth the spirits.
For the Word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two
edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and
spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the
thoughts and intents of the heart.
Become the Virtuous Wife
How to Be a Godly Wife Instructions
Trust is a whole bunch different with God than it is with anyone else
because of the fact that He knows everything already. But what about
your earthly husband? Is God looking at your relationship with Him as
an example of what kind of bride you'll be in Heaven?
Again, I stress to you that our all merciful Father knows all our
weaknesses, but we shouldn't use weakness as an excuse for doing
things that are not virtuous. The Lord also knows our determination,
and our sincerity, and our repentance, and that's how we gain His
Grace and His trust again when we do something we wish we hadn't.
We're made in His image, and if you turn the tables and look at it
from an objective point of view, we all want to trust those who are
near to us, so use the Golden Rule and your loved ones will safely
trust in you.
Now, the complete verse:
What does this mean ... Spoil? To spoil means to rob. This could mean
that the husband of a virtuous woman has no need to worry that the
faithfulness of his betrothed will be taken away by anything or
anyone, and that she will never cause him damage or shame. And what
assures him of that?
How to be trustworthy is the question.
What Can "Spoil" a Marriage?
The Virtuous Wife Point of Interest ... People today believe in their
heart that untrustworthy behavior is innocent and harmless. Flirting
is regarded with admiration, and so very sadly, oft times a person's
own spouse thinks of this as a redeeming quality in their wife or
husband, instead of the destructive tool of indecency that it really
is. It is the "gateway drug" to infidelity.
You might think I'm being a little extreme about teaching how to be a
godly wife, but it is Biblical so it is from God. I am but the
sharing the Truth. Start observing people and take note of how much
"charming" there is going on around you. It is commonly viewed as
just being friendly, or cute, but how does most infidelity start? By
an innocent? little smile? People today are exceedingly too personal
with people they aren't married to. Whether it be an inappropriate
look, word or gesture, it's easy to see that this is not the manner
of a virtuous woman.
You Can Become the Virtuous Wife
How to Be a Godly Wife Secrets
Have a little heart to heart with God and ask Him what's appropriate
and what isn't when communicating with someone you're not married to.
Always pray that the Holy Spirit be with you and between you and
another person who you're not espoused to, so that impropriety never
Since we're being honest with ourselves, let me ask you a virtuous
wife question. You've seen the enemy teach this on television
millions of times, but how many times while greeting someone with a
handshake, have you seen someone smile at the person flirtatiously
instead of a smile of fellowship? Incidentally, did you know that in
the Bible, a handshake was to confirm agreement about something, and
in the old west, it was to show that you weren't holding a gun, but
today ... Oh my.
How to be a Godly Wife Bottom Line ... If you were betrothed to the
Lord (which you are, if Heaven is your desired destination), does it
all seem so innocent and harmless anymore? Will He be looking for
someone else who His heart can safely trust in more? I ask again, Is
your devotion to your husband a test of what kind of Angel and bride
you would be to the Lord? It's something worth considering very
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he
shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them
that love Him.
How to Be a Godly Wife Summary
You can change your life so that you are worthy of His trust; and if
you know the Lord trusts you, you can be sure your soul-mate here on
earth, too, will have no worries about your trustworthiness. Pray
about how to be trustworthy. The power of prayer is something the
Virtuous Wife needs in her life.
And as always, reflect on God's Grace,
and thank Him, each and every day.
Select your desired page number below:
If you have any questions, comments or just want to share thoughts, email us at:
There is a force out there that is attempting to overtake us all; it is Satan. There is another force that is protecting us from him; it is the Holy Spirit. It is a battle for souls. This battle is called Spiritual Warfare, and like it or not, you are right in the middle of it.
How to Prepare for Spiritual Warfare